This is Margot.
She was my best friend.
Today is her birthday.
She would have been 25, finally catching up to my age. I don't know if its because I've ingested so many over the counter pain killers and allergy medicine today, or because this year I miss her so much more, but I feel like I'm falling apart. My insides are vibrating and feel as though they will soon be on my outsides and leave me truly empty.
I spent the better part of today in the car trying not to listen to music that makes me cry. This was difficult. We shared so much music. So many mixed tapes. From this band to that band and all the six degrees of separation in between, every song is a memory, every song nostalgic.
Its not just the sadness that she died so young or that she had so much life left to lead. I often wonder what she would say to me now. Or what she would have done with her life. If we really would grow old as friends and sit in the nursing home sucking our mashed taters through a straw.
Damn it, I had so many things left to say to her.
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